Why Yelling Coaches Don’t Have to Dim Your Athlete’s Spark

Hey there, amazing young athletes and supportive parents! 👋 If you’ve ever had a coach raise their voice and it left you feeling down, you’re not alone. At The Purpose Driven Athlete, with over 20 years of guiding athletes—I’ve seen how yelling can shake confidence. But here’s the good news: it doesn’t have to! This blog is all about understanding why some coaches yell, how it affects young athletes, and practical ways to turn that noise into a chance to grow—both in sports and life. Let’s dive in with real-life examples and tips to keep the joy alive!

Why Do Coaches Yell, and What’s the Impact?

Not every coach means to upset you when they shout. Some think it’s a way to wake you up or push you harder, like a loud pep talk. But many don’t realize how it can hurt. Yelling can make young athletes feel unsure, scared to mess up, or even lose their love for the game. For some, it hits self-esteem hard, leading to thoughts like “I’m not good enough” or “I let everyone down.” I’ve worked with kids who quit sports because the fun faded away under all that noise.

Take a 7th-grade soccer player I coached. When her coach yelled about missed goals, she started doubting herself and stopped enjoying practice. Another client, an 11-year-old basketball player, felt so pressured by shouting that he avoided shooting, in fear of missing shots. These stories show how a coach’s tone can dim an athlete’s spark, but it doesn’t have to be the end of the story!

How Young Athletes Can Handle Yelling

While kids can’t control how coaches deliver feedback, they can control how they respond. Here’s what often happens when a coach yells, along with ways to stay strong:

• Shutting Down: Some kids build an invisible shield when yelled at, tuning out the coach completely. For “Ella,” a 9-year-old tennis player, this meant missing helpful tips because she felt overwhelmed. Shutting down blocks progress and buries feelings, but we can help by teaching her to pause and process instead.

• Taking It Personally: Others hear only the loud tone and think it’s about them, not the play. “Liam,” a 15-year-old baseball player, felt like a failure when his coach shouted, even if the advice was good. This can shake confidence, but with the right mindset, he can separate the message from the noise.

• Finding the Message: The best approach is to sift through the yelling for useful advice. “Zara,” a 12-year-old swimmer, learned to ignore her coach’s harsh tone and focus on stroke tips, which helped her shave seconds off her time. She told me, “I just take what helps and let the rest go!” This builds resilience and keeps confidence intact.

If sports matter to your child, they shouldn’t let anyone steal their joy. By focusing on the lesson and remembering why they play, they can rise above the shouting.

Real-Life Example: Learning from the Pros

Even pro athletes deal with tough coaching moments. In Game 2 of the NBA playoffs between the Los Angeles Lakers and the Minnesota Timberwolves, Lakers coach JJ Redick was furious during a timeout, upset about an 8-4 run that cut his team’s lead. After the game, LeBron James shared how he handles it: “We know JJ’s going to get heated sometimes. … You have to listen to the message, not just how it’s said. My high school coach was the same yelling was his style, but we figured out the plan.” LeBron’s ability to focus on the strategy, not the shout, helped the Lakers respond and win. Another example is Serena Williams, who faced strict coaches growing up. She learned to use their feedback to fuel her 23 Grand Slam titles, saying, “I tuned out the noise and focused on my game.” These pros show kids they can turn yelling into a tool for growth!

Turning Yelling into a Life Skill

Handling a yelling coach isn’t just about sports—it’s a life lesson in staying calm and finding value in tough situations. I worked with “Noah,” a 13-year-old track athlete, who used deep breaths to stay steady when his coach barked orders. This skill helped him handle stress at school too. For young athletes, taking a deep breath, grabbing any helpful advice, letting go of the rest, and recalling their love for the sport can turn a negative moment into a positive one.

Summer: The Perfect Time to Build Resilience

With school out this summer, it’s a fantastic time to schedule mental performance sessions to tackle challenges like dealing with yelling coaches. At The Purpose Driven Athlete, we offer in-person or Zoom meetings, and our programs are affordable with a huge impact you can see right away. Imagine your athlete stepping onto the field with the confidence to handle any coach’s style—skills that work in sports and life! Book a free 15-minute discovery call today to get started.

503-351-3812 Text

Self-Belief!!!!

Coach Dave

Founder

The Purpose Driven Athlete

www.thepurposedrivenathlete.com

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