When Confidence Isn’t the Problem: What Young Athletes Get Wrong About “Anxiety” Before a Big Game

Not long ago, I was working with a high-level athlete who was preparing to return to play after being out for a short stretch. By all accounts, he was ready. Strong. Skilled. Experienced. Not new to pressure.

But the night before his return, he looked at me and said something every young athlete has felt:

“Coach… the anxiety is real.”

And here’s the important part:

What he felt was not unique to pros.
Middle school athletes feel it.
High school athletes feel it.
Parents see it all the time.

At higher levels, those feelings just show up quicker and hit harder.

Most people would label what he was feeling as:

• Nerves

• Pressure

• Confidence issues

Those labels feel comfortable… and completely miss the point.

And when you mislabel the problem, you chase the wrong solution.

What Was REALLY Happening

This athlete hadn’t played for a few days. A short break — nothing major.
But even a brief disruption in routine has consequences.

Here’s what actually changed:

• His rhythm wasn’t as sharp

• His timing was just a little off

• His certainty — the “feel” of the game — wasn’t locked in

At high levels, three days feels like ten.
But even for middle and high school athletes, one small routine break can feel like a major drop-off.

When certainty drops, the body starts searching.
When the body is searching, the mind gets loud.

And that noise?
That’s what most athletes call anxiety.

But it’s not a mental meltdown.
It’s not a confidence crisis.

It’s simply missing reference points — the small cues and rhythms that tell your brain,
“I know what I’m doing. I’ve done this a thousand times.”

Why Mislabeling This Hurts Athletes

When athletes think the problem is “mental,” they respond in only mental ways:

• More positive self-talk

• More trying to hype themselves up

• More trying to “feel confident”

• Parents giving more reassurance

But the real issue isn’t confidence.

It’s clarity.

And if you treat a clarity problem like a confidence problem, you end up with:

• Hesitation

• Overthinking

• Playing slower

• Second-guessing

• Feeling like you're “off” and not knowing why

Athletes don’t lose their ability because they suddenly stop believing in themselves.

They lose it because their rhythm, timing, and feel slipped — just slightly — and nobody noticed.

That’s when:

• You’re half a step late

• Your reads aren’t clean

• Your reaction time feels off

• Your game feels “heavier”

This is how performances dip without anyone understanding the true cause.

The Hidden Cost for Young Athletes

If this goes unnoticed, athletes don’t just struggle — they adapt to struggling.

They normalize it.

They push through it.

They let it stack.

Over time:

• Minutes shrink

• Coaches trust less

• Athletes doubt themselves

• Parents become confused and frustrated

• A false story forms: “They just lost confidence”

But confidence was never the issue.

Clarity always comes before confidence.
Get that order wrong, and performance suffers.

How Athletes and Parents Can Use This

The next time you — or your athlete — feel off before a game, do this:

Step 1: Pause before assuming it’s anxiety or confidence.

Ask:
“Did my certainty drop?”
Has your routine changed?
Was there a break in training?
Have you not had reps recently?

Step 2: Rebuild clarity, not confidence.

Get simple, physical, repeatable reps.
A few minutes of sharpness.
A few actions that restore rhythm.

Step 3: Know this is normal.

Your mind isn’t broken.
You’re not “scared.”
You’re not losing confidence.

You simply need your reference points back.

Parents — this is huge for you too.
When your athlete says they feel “off” or “anxious,” avoid rushing into motivational talks.
Help them rebuild clarity instead of piling pressure on confidence.

The Bottom Line

Every athlete — from beginners to pros — feels this.

The difference is that pros don’t panic when confidence feels shaky.
They recognize the real issue:

Confidence isn’t the starting point.
Clarity is.

Get your clarity back, and your confidence will follow every single time.

And if this feels familiar for your athlete, don’t rush to fix it.
Start by asking the right question:

“Did my confidence drop… or did my clarity?”

That answer changes everything.

Stay Resilient,

Coach Dave

Founder

www.coachdave.me