As a parent, you’ve probably heard your child say something like:

• “I don’t know why I get so nervous.”

• “I mess things up when it matters.”

• “Other kids don’t struggle like I do.”

And quietly, many young athletes start to believe something is wrong with them.

This is one of the biggest misunderstandings in youth sports today.

Mental performance challenges are not a flaw.
They are not a weakness.
And they do not mean your child is broken.

In fact, they mean your child is human.

Why Young Athletes Think Something Is Wrong

Most young athletes are taught how to train their bodies:

• Strength

• Speed

• Skill

• Conditioning

But very few are taught how to train their mind.

So when emotions show up—nerves, frustration, fear, self-doubt—athletes assume they’re doing something wrong. They believe confidence should just appear. That toughness means never feeling stress. That elite athletes don’t struggle mentally.

None of that is true.

The problem isn’t that your athlete feels pressure.
The problem is that no one has taught them what to do with it.

Why Elite Athletes Train Their Mind

Mental performance training exists because pressure never goes away—it increases.

That’s why professional athletes and teams openly invest in mental performance coaches:

• NBA teams employ full-time mental performance staff

• NFL quarterbacks work with sports psychologists on focus and emotional control

• Olympic athletes train visualization, breathwork, and mental routines as seriously as physical ones

• MLB hitters work on failure management because they fail more than they succeed

Elite athletes don’t train mentally because they’re weak.

They train mentally because the margins are thin.

At the highest level, everyone is skilled.
The difference is who stays composed, confident, and present when things get hard.

Mental Toughness Is Not What Most People Think

Many parents grew up believing mental toughness meant:

• “Push through it”

• “Don’t think about it”

• “Just be confident”

• “Shake it off”

But modern sports psychology shows us something different.

Mental toughness is not the absence of emotion.
It’s the ability to manage emotion.

A mentally tough athlete:

• Feels nerves but knows how to reset

• Makes mistakes without spiraling

• Handles adversity without losing confidence

• Stays present instead of stuck in the past or worried about the future

That’s a skill set.
And skills can be trained.

Why Mental Performance Training Is Like Strength Training

Here’s the simplest way to explain this to your child:

No one expects a young athlete to squat 300 pounds without training.
So why do we expect them to handle pressure without tools?

Mental performance training teaches athletes:

• How to regulate emotions

• How to refocus after mistakes

• How to build confidence through behavior, not hype

• How to respond instead of reacting

This isn’t therapy.
It’s performance training.

How Parents Can Reframe the Conversation

What you say matters more than you think.

Instead of:

❌ “Why are you so nervous?”
❌ “You just need to be more confident.”
❌ “Don’t let it bother you.”

Try:

✅ “Pressure means you care.”
✅ “Every athlete learns this at some point.”
✅ “This is something we can train.”

The goal isn’t to remove emotion.
It’s to normalize it—and give your athlete tools.

When parents treat mental performance as development, athletes stop seeing it as a defect.

What the Experts Agree On

Sports psychologists consistently agree on this:

• Confidence is built through preparation and clarity, not motivation

• Emotional regulation is trainable at any age

• Athletes who learn mental skills early perform better long-term

• Mental performance training reduces burnout and anxiety

The earlier athletes learn these tools, the more resilient they become—not just in sports, but in life.

The Bottom Line for Parents

If your athlete struggles mentally at times, it does not mean:

• They are weak

• They are behind

• They are broken

It means they are ready for the next phase of development.

The same way physical training supports the body, mental performance training supports the athlete behind the uniform.

And the most successful athletes—at every level—train both.

Your job as a parent isn’t to fix their emotions.
It’s to help them understand that growth is happening.

And that nothing about them is wrong.

Check out this Free Guide to help you with this extremely important topic:

Stay Resilient!

— Coach Dave

www.coachdave.me