How Parents Can Help Young Athletes Master Self-Talk for Success

How Parents Can Help Young Athletes Master Self-Talk for Success

Self-talk, or the internal dialogue that runs through an athlete’s mind, can make or break their performance. As parents, you have the power to guide your child toward using self-talk as a tool to improve confidence, focus, and overall mental toughness. Here are four key stages of self-talk that young athletes go through and how you can help them shift their inner dialogue to become more positive and empowering.

1. Negative Acceptance

The first stage of self-talk is when young athletes accept the idea that they can’t do something. Phrases like "I can't make that shot," "I can’t keep up with the other players," or "I can't handle the pressure" are common. This type of dialogue creates a mental barrier that limits progress. It’s crucial to help your child recognize this negative acceptance early and understand that it’s not a reflection of their abilities but a temporary mindset.

Example: If your child misses several free throws and mutters, "I can’t shoot under pressure," instead of brushing it off, talk to them about why they feel that way and remind them that they’ve succeeded before. By opening this dialogue, you’re starting to break the habit of negative self-talk.

2. Recognition and a Need for Change

At this stage, athletes begin to realize that their self-talk is holding them back, but they still frame their thoughts in a way that’s unproductive. You’ll start to hear phrases like, "I should be better at defense" or "I should have made that pass." While this shows they want to improve, it’s still rooted in self-criticism.

Encourage your child to replace "I should" with proactive language. Rather than focusing on where they’ve fallen short, guide them to think about what they can do moving forward. This shift helps them move from being stuck in a negative loop to looking for ways to grow.

Example: After a tough game, your athlete might say, "I should have played harder defense." Respond by encouraging them to reflect on their effort and remind them of what they did well. Then ask, "What can you work on for the next game?"

3. I No Longer

This is a breakthrough stage where your athlete’s internal dialogue takes a big shift. They start rejecting the old habits and self-beliefs that held them back. Statements like, "I no longer get flustered in games," or "I’m no longer afraid to take the shot" signal that they are reprogramming their mindset to leave negative habits behind.

At this stage, remind your child to focus on their progress. It’s not about perfection but about recognizing how far they’ve come and continuing to reinforce this positive shift.

Example: If they say, "I’m no longer nervous about taking free throws," celebrate that growth with them. Acknowledge the mental effort it took to get there and how this change has impacted their performance.

4. I Am

The final stage is where the athlete’s self-talk becomes constructive and empowering. This is where they speak with conviction: "I am confident under pressure," "I am a great defender," or "I am always improving." These statements shape their identity and reinforce positive beliefs, which directly impacts performance.

Encourage your child to make "I am" statements a regular part of their routine, whether during practice, before a game, or when preparing for a challenge. These affirmations serve as powerful instructions to the mind, building resilience and reinforcing a strong sense of self-belief.

Example: Before a big game, guide your athlete to say, "I am prepared, I am focused, and I am ready to give my best." These declarations prime their mindset for success.

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By guiding your young athlete through these four stages of self-talk, you’re helping them develop a powerful tool for success, not just in sports but in life. As they shift from negative acceptance to empowered "I am" statements, they’ll build mental toughness, confidence, and resilience that will serve them on and off the court.

Stay resilient,

Coach Dave

Founder Flow Basketball

P.S. If you want to work with us in any capacity, there are 3 ways we can help you:

1 - TOGETHER with Coach Dave. www.flowstateathlete.com/contact
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3 - FOR FREE on YouTube and our social media platforms.