How to Help Your Athlete Stop Freezing Under Pressure

Let me take you into a scene I’ve witnessed far too many times.

The stands are packed. The gym is electric. Scouts are jotting notes on their clipboards. Parents are sitting on the edge of their seats, waiting for their kid to have that big moment.

The ball swings their way… and there it is, the perfect opportunity.

And then, they freeze.

In a heartbeat, the moment’s gone. The play moves on. The crowd forgets. But you don’t. Because deep down, you know what that hesitation means. You know what it could cost them.

I’ve seen this story unfold over and over again, athletes who dominate practice, who have all the tools to succeed, who’ve spent countless hours training, traveling, and sacrificing… only to tighten up when it matters most.

When the lights shine the brightest, they disappear.

Meet “The Avoider”

We call these athletes Avoiders, not because they don’t care, but because somewhere along the line, their brain learned that pressure is dangerous.

They start to believe that being seen means being judged. That messing up in front of others means something about their worth.

So instead of attacking the moment, they play it safe. They don’t take the shot. They don’t call for the ball. They hesitate just long enough to miss the window.

And every time it happens, the wiring in their brain gets stronger. The more they avoid pressure, the more they reinforce fear.

Because here’s the truth: practice makes permanent, and that includes practicing hesitation.

I once worked with a young athlete who lived this pattern. He was skilled, disciplined, and loved the game. But the moment the stakes rose, he disappeared.

By the time his parents reached out, his coach had lost trust, scouts stopped showing up, and his confidence was fading fast.

He didn’t need more drills. He needed to retrain his mind.

Breaking the Avoider Pattern

The good news? This pattern can be broken. It takes awareness, the right tools, and consistent mental reps, just like physical training.

Here are three strategies I teach athletes (and parents) to help rewire this response and turn fear into fuel:

1. Practice Pressure, Don’t Avoid It

Most athletes only experience pressure in games, and that’s the problem. You can’t expect calm in chaos if you’ve never trained for it.

Start by simulating pressure in practice.

• Add small consequences for mistakes (like push-ups or restarting a drill).

• Create “clutch” situations: last shot, 10 seconds left, crowd noise.

• Make it fun, not punishment. The goal is to normalize intensity, not fear it.

When the body learns that pressure is just another environment, it stops triggering panic.

2. Create a Reset Routine

When nerves hit, the brain floods the body with adrenaline. The best athletes don’t fight that, they manage it.

Have your athlete build a reset routine, something short they can do every time they feel themselves tightening up. For example:

• Take a slow breath in (4 seconds) and out (4 seconds).

• Say a cue word like “Next Play” or “I’m ready.”

• Visualize success for one quick moment.

This becomes their mental “anchor” a way to stay in control when emotions spike.

3. Reframe the Moment

Avoiders see big moments as threats. Elite performers see them as opportunities.

Parents, this is where you play a huge role. Instead of saying, “Don’t mess up,” say, “Go make a play.” Instead of focusing on outcomes, celebrate effort and courage.

Help your athlete redefine pressure as something positive, a chance to test their preparation and prove to themselves what they can do.

When the story in their head changes, so does their performance.

The Takeaway

Pressure doesn’t break athletes, it reveals them.

If your child freezes under pressure, it’s not a lack of talent, it’s a pattern that can be rewired. When they learn to face those moments with systems, self-awareness, and courage, the “Avoider” disappears, and the competitor steps forward.

Because the goal isn’t to avoid pressure.
It’s to train for it.

Coach Dave

www.coachdave.me