Hey there, amazing sports parents! If you’ve ever watched your young athlete face a tough moment in sports—like a child freezing up at the plate out of fear, a middle schooler losing focus in a close game, or a high school player struggling to make shots, —you know how hard it can be to see them struggle. But here’s the good news: struggle in youth sports can be a powerful opportunity for growth, resilience, and confidence. At The Purpose Driven Athlete, I’ve spent over 20 years helping young athletes ages 8–18 navigate these challenges, and I’m here to share why struggle can be good and how you can support your child through it. Let’s turn those tough moments into steppingstones for success!

Why Struggle Is Good in Youth Sports

Struggle might seem like something to avoid, but in youth sports, it’s one of the best ways for kids to grow. Here’s why:

• Builds Resilience: Facing challenges—like losing a close match or missing a shot—teaches kids how to bounce back. I worked with a high school baseball player who struggled to close out games, especially when he got behind in the count, due to nerves. By learning to manage pressure with deep breathing and a focus phrase, he not only closed his next game, but also gained the resilience to handle future setbacks. Struggle helps kids learn that they can overcome obstacles, building a “never give up” mindset.

• Fosters a Growth Mindset: According to Dr. Carol Dweck’s research on growth mindset, struggle helps kids see challenges as opportunities to learn, not failures. An elementary age athlete I coached was scared to swing at a baseball because he feared getting hit. Through visualization and confidence-building, he learned to face his fear, saying, “I can get better with practice!” Struggle taught him that effort leads to growth, a lesson that will serve him in sports and life.

• Develops Emotional Skills: Sports struggles—like frustration after a loss or anxiety before a big game—help kids learn to manage their emotions. A middle school athlete I coached struggled to focus when behind in games, often getting distracted by the score. By practicing a Focus Cue and celebrating effort over outcomes, he learned to stay calm and present, building emotional regulation that helps him on and off the court.

• Boosts Confidence Through Mastery: Overcoming struggle leads to a sense of accomplishment, which builds confidence. When kids push through tough moments—like learning from a mistake or facing a fear—they realize they’re capable of more than they thought. Each small victory, like hitting a ball after weeks of hesitation, becomes a confidence booster for the next challenge.

How Parents Can Handle and Help Their Children Through Struggles

As a parent, seeing your child struggle can be tough, but your support can turn those challenges into growth opportunities. Here are four ways to help your young athlete navigate struggles in youth sports:

1. Normalize Struggle as Part of Growth
Let your child know that struggle is normal and even helpful. Instead of saying, “You’ll win next time,” try, “It’s okay to lose—it means you’re learning!” I encouraged the parents of the high school player to say, “Losing that close game shows you’re playing tough opponents—that’s how you get better!” This mindset helped her see struggle as a sign of progress, reducing his fear of failure.

2. Celebrate Effort, Not Just Results
Focus on your child’s effort, not the outcome, to build their confidence and resilience. After a game, say, “I’m so proud of how hard you tried out there!” rather than focusing on the score. For the middle school athlete I coached, I had his parents celebrate his effort in staying focused, even when he lost a game. This shifted his mindset to value effort over winning, helping him stay motivated through struggles.

3. Teach Them to Reframe Challenges
Help your child see struggles as chances to learn by asking, “What did you learn today?” or “What can you do better next time?” The elementary age athlete I worked with was afraid to swing at a baseball, but his parents helped him reframe it: “Missing the ball means you’re brave for trying—let’s practice aiming higher!” This approach turned his fear into a learning opportunity, encouraging him to keep trying.

4. Support Emotional Regulation with Simple Tools
Struggles often bring big emotions like frustration or anxiety. Teach your child simple tools to manage these feelings, like deep breathing (inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4, exhale for 4). When a college tennis player I worked with felt nervous closing matches, I taught her to take 3 deep breaths and say, “Stay Steady!” Her parents reinforced this by practicing with her before matches, helping her stay calm and focused in critical moments. You can also encourage your child to name their feelings—“I feel nervous”—and use breathing to “power up,” making them feel in control.

Helping Your Child Thrive Through Struggle

Struggle in youth sports isn’t something to avoid—it’s a chance for your child to build resilience, a growth mindset, emotional skills, and confidence. By normalizing struggle, celebrating effort, reframing challenges, and supporting emotional regulation, you can help your young athlete turn tough moments into opportunities for growth. At The Purpose Driven Athlete, I’ve seen these strategies transform athletes, helping them not only overcome challenges but also enjoy sports more and develop skills that last a lifetime. As we see more and more kids dropping out of sports due to the pressure that can be there, if we just take a step back and teach and implement these simple tools, it will make the sports experience way better for them!

If you ever need anything regarding mental performance tips, ideas, or discuss working with your athlete, reach out anytime!

Be Purpose Driven!

Coach Dave

The Purpose Driven Athlete
www.thepurposedrivenathlete.com
503-351-3812